U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
