Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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