I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize