yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
