my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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