id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
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You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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