its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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