She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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