Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
