i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
