"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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