he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
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No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
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Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize