Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
