real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
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I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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