Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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