I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
