there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
