you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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