just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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