I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
