omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
3 2 1 whiskey
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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