u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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