I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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