some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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