Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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