party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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