put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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