i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
