do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
