Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
