New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize