is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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