i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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