I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
