Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Your penis caused this!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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