look no pants
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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