I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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