you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
