I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
