There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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