hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i now understand why vodka
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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