The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
