hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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