the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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