i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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