So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
