so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
