Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize