Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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