i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
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STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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