1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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