also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
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