had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
