Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
