I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
