Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
