I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i barfeds in our rink
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
