i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
