The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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