I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
