There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
